Archive for the ‘Mind Sciences’ Category

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LOL : a Learner's Ongoing Learning

In every field of endeavor , people from all walks of life are interested in improving themselves and organizing their minds. 

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Admittedly, I am a bit biased, trained memory is one of the most important factors in mental organization, there are of course many other factors involved. The search for happiness need not be a long or difficult one, in fact, you can find it within yourself.

Yes- you can be a happier and better person than you are now. Yes- you can use your brain more efficiently, there’s no doubt about it, just make up your mind that its true and and you will be able to use brain power you have , to much better advantage.

There’s only one thing that can help you avoid chaos in your work either business or social dealings- in life itself; and that thing is organization. There would be no learning , no…

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I’m sure you ask yourself the same question all the time. “How do I stay positive, when this world is full of such negative influences”.
Lately we have experienced, natural disasters, increasing poverty levels, unemployment that is at its highest in decades, and people fighting to keep their houses, feed their kids and stay afloat. We are in hard economic times. These facts don’t even include your own personal struggles. Sometimes it’s so easy to jump on the negative band-wagon and go to that place. This is the place of negativity; the place that we find it so easy to go to at times like this. In a world full of so many wrongs, how can you keep your mind focused on what’s right? How can you get through the days of rain to make it to all the days of constant sunlight?

I use many different methods of staying positive. I believe everyone has their own methods of coping or of believing. You don’t necessarily have to believe in God or even in some higher being to have positivity. You just have to believe that there are ways to challenge all of your negative influences and turn them to the positive way you really were meant to live.

The methods I use to stay positive vary depending on how much positive energy I need. I put them in order below as I usually start from the beginning and work my way down the list till I am feeling energized and positive again. See if any of them work for you, you might be pleasantly surprised.

1. Talk to God- One of the first things I find helpful is to simply relax, breathe, find a quiet area outside or in the house to spend a bit of time with God. Some of us don’t realize he hears our every thought and is with us always. Take your problems to him. He might not respond right away but praying about them will help you to release the negative vibe within and you will get an answer. It might not be the answer you want but God always responds. He will direct you on your next step if you take the time to send him your questions.

2. Read a book- this uplifts my spirits because I have a strong connection to what I am reading. Regardless of what book it is, there is a reason I am reading it. Whether it makes me laugh, cry or just lose myself in the moment, reading helps channel the negative into another world. In the midst of reading, the author can take you on a journey far away from the problems of today and also make you think about the fact that maybe, just maybe, your life isn’t that bad. There is always another side to things. Books make you think. Try it sometime even if you aren’t an avid reader.

3. Exercise- exercise releases those positive endorphins that get you moving in the right direction. It is hard to be negative when you are jamming to your favorite tune and running down the street. The breeze and the air from outside will get you going and make you realize all the little things in life that can still make you happy.

4. Talk to a friend- there is a little known fact that friends are the angels God sends us to help us when he is unavailable. A friend has the unique ability to make you laugh. Laugh at yourself, laugh at a memory the two of you have together or just to listen when you need a shoulder to vent to. Friends are priceless. I sometimes say “friends are better than family in some ways because they are the family you chose for yourself on a daily basis” I am a select few friends who I am always able to call and have listen to me when I need a friend. Sometimes friends don’t have to know all the answers or even say a word, sometimes you just need someone to listen to you.

5. Smile at a stranger- this seems silly right? I mean why if you are in a bad place, is smiling at a stranger going to help you. However, showing kindness to someone you don’t know can usually lift you up as well as give them some happiness as well. You never know when someone needs your smile. A stranger at a coffee shop could be having the worst day ever and a simple smile from you could make them realize there might still be good people left in the world. Imagine being the reason that someone held on and had faith in this world again. Now that is something to smile about!

So even though I know times are rough out there and sometimes you can’t find a positive thing to say, try some or all of the above activities. I can almost guarantee you; you will experience at least some relief. Remember half the battle is having a positive attitude about life. If you can conquer this, the negativity will all disappear.

“When you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on” Thomas Jefferson

“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” Author Unknown
“Fall down seven times, stand up eight” Japanese Proverb

Courtesy: Debbie A. DeVita

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t.

Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.

A mosque goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to mosque every Friday. ‘I’ve gone for 30 years now,’ he wrote, ‘and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them. So, I think I’m wasting my time and the Imaams are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all.’

This started a real controversy in the ‘Letters to the Editor’ column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:
‘I’ve been married for 37 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals, But I do know this… They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to mosque for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!’ When you are DOWN to nothing…. Allah is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank Allah for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

All right, now that you’re done reading, share it with others!
I think everyone should read this! ‘When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, ‘Allah, could you get that for me?’

Can I Borrow $5?

Posted: October 14, 2010 in Mind Sciences, Motivational, Pakistan, World

This could be quite old, but I still feel that we must keep on reminding ourselves on this. I always feel touched with this real story. Here it goes:


Can I Borrow $5?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: ‘Daddy, May I ask you a question?’

DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

SON: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make $20 an hour.’

SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: “Daddy, may I please borrow $5?”

The dad was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut
the door..

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $5 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.

No Daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here is the $5 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you Daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.
‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow.
I would like to have dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of us working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $20 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

– x – x – x – x – x – x –

Have we ever dragged our own-self to our own court to question what have we done so far for our own people?

Have you ever thought to discover your true purpose in life?

Well, if yes, then how do you discover your real purpose in life? I am not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you are in this world at all – the very reason you exist.

This post is relevant to all of us, and in broader sense it applies to every human being.

Every day we wake up and we almost follow the same pattern, same routine, same time of leaving for work, or picking up children from school, or going out for something. We have a long day, we do certain things and then we take dinner and then go to bed.

During all this, we pray, we might be cooking, or cleaning or passing instructions, or getting things done. We have a whole list of everyday things to do.

Our life has become routine. Everyone is busy around us. Our phone rings and we sometimes do not feel like taking calls as we already are burdened with a million things going around us. Our friends send us SMS and forwarded emails and sometimes we do not reply back. We rarely have time to meet them.

We have facebook now, so that keeps us connected with those who matter. Those who don’t, remain as add as friend options. Everything is so electronic. We don’t watch TV much unless we have any of our favorite character or show.

Some occasions, some weddings, some events; we may feel like showing up and sometimes we skip some.

We have to keep up with the society. We have to reciprocate and we have to say “thank you” when someone does something for us.

We are answerable to everyone around us. Even if sometimes we don’t want to.

The load-shedding or daily power cut offs bother us. It disturbs our sleep. It makes us irritated during day. The weather is so dry and warm that by the time we reach one place from another, we are already tired.

What’s all this nonsense on TV?

Everywhere we go; same topics, same issues, same fears, some worries. No one seems to have a solution, but to crib and cry over the past and present. What is going to happen, we don’t know.

We see the same people on TV, with the same words, same suggestions, yet we see NO difference being made but things are becoming worse and even worse. By the time we realize there is a problem, it already becomes a major disaster and people have no option but to find safe havens.

Could you imagine a place like Islamabad – so safe so serene, would have bombings inside Marriott Hotel? Could you imagine Karachi being thrashed? Could you imagine Lahore the city of life becoming a city of bloodshed?

What is the reason behind all this?

Why so much hate and violence, taking lives of innocent people?

There has to be so much more behind all this.

Come on… Pakistan is becoming Shaheedistan.

My God! look at the inflation. Look at the price hikes in basic commodities. Look how basic living rights are being taken by cutting off electricity.

Wages? How can a mere salary of $60-70 i.e. 5000 to 6000 Rupees a month fulfills the needs of 5-6 family members with toddlers and infants who need milk every day? Then who complains that these maids should not be trusted alone at homes?

How can we as individuals bring some support to these people who work for us?

Forget thinking about your own-self for a moment. Think about the driver who works with you all day. Drives in heat, sweats and doesn’t say “NO” to you.

Why are we humans becoming blood suckers?

How loyally would someone wash our clothes and cook us meals and safeguard us when they are deprived of so much more back home. They leave their families at their villages to come to cities to work with us. All for few 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 thousand bucks?

Could we live in this amount every month? We must only see our monthly mobile phone and internet bills. Doing what?

We must discover our true purpose in life and realize the responsibility to our own people first.

The lady, who cleans our bathroom or irons our clothes, smiles and gives us respect. How often do we think of giving her extra money quietly and helping her out of a troubled situation with no other family member working, and kids crying from illness? No money for hospitalization or immunization.

How often do we say “thank you” to our cook or appreciate verbally for making us tasty and delicious food?

How often would we ask our driver to come, take the back seat, and we drive in his replacement?

Why would we? Because they are paid for it? Is this the approach we have?

Arrogant, rude, mean, inhumane???

Come on!!! What if we were them?

Now tell me, what extra miles are we going to keep ALLAH satisfied with our own being?

Are we helping the nearby mosque, hospital or any charitable organization?

Are we feeding some poor on our own?

Are we distributing our old clothes in the nearby orphanage?

Are we giving free medicines to the needy and deserving people living in the nearest katchi abaadi?

Are we attending any welfare organizations events?

Are we giving any rewards to our home staff or employees, apart from their basic salary or annual bonuses?

ALLAH SAYS, if you take care of my people, I will take care of you.

ALLAH SAYS, the dearest to me is the one nearest to His people in times of their needs.

ALLAH also says, I am not going to punish you for your small bad deeds. I will forgive you till you totally exceed your last limits of being arrogant. I will take everything away from you at once and then you will not have any other means.

ALLAH says, you offer salaat / prayers for your own-self to please me and not for anyone else.

ALLAH says, every time you feed a poor, I would increase your wealth by 7 times.

ALLAH says, every time you smile at a poor person, I will give you long life.

So in Islam, there is a bigger reward for every little deed done on earth.

I want my friends to try to become a little “nicer” with their surroundings, and not get carried away in their home-day to day – or glitz.

When we become sick or critically ill, we think of our mother, then our best friends as we need them around us.

This life is very short lived and temporary.

Please I urge you to become kind. Become nice. Become polite.

That’s all I have to say. I just felt like writing today.

Thanks for reading.

With loads of love and prayers!

My special thanks to KHM!

Do you have a habit of taking action?

If so, then GREAT!

This affirmation is already totally true for you!

If not, then the way to develop it begins with affirming
and imagining it to already be true.

The habit of taking action is a “MOST EXCELLENT” habit to have!

Having a habit of taking action, can totally change your life
for the better.

“Please affirm this image of yourself today & all this week.

And REAP The Benefits Tomorrow & for the rest of your life!”

Do you feel that you’ve gone as far as you can with your current employer? Despite knowing that you have much more potential, is there a limit to where “people like you” can go in your organization?

If so, you’ve hit what’s known as the “glass ceiling.” This is the point at which you can clearly see the next level of promotion – yet, despite your best effort, an invisible barrier seems to stop you from proceeding.

Traditionally, the glass ceiling was a concept applied to women and some minorities. It was very hard, if not impossible, for them to reach upper management positions. No matter how qualified or experienced, they simply were not given opportunities to further advance their careers.

Today, there are many more women and minorities in powerful positions. However, the glass ceiling is still very real. And it’s not always limited to gender or race.

Have you been pushed up against a glass ceiling? This can happen for many different reasons. Are you too much the champion of change? Do you have difficulty communicating your ideas? Are you quieter and less outgoing than the people who get promotions?

Whatever the reason, you have a choice. You can accept your situation and be happy with looking up and not being able to touch what you see… or you can smash the glass with purpose and determination.

If you do, indeed, want to break through that glass, here are some steps to take.

Identify the Key Competencies within Your Organization

Key competencies are the common skills and attributes of the people in your company’s upper levels. These skills are often tied closely to the organization’s culture and vision.

Companies that value innovation and strive to be leaders will probably promote individuals who are outgoing, risk takers, and not afraid to “tell it like it is.” However, if you work for a conservative company (such as a publicly-owned utility) chances are that top management are analytical thinkers, with a reputation for avoiding risk and making careful decisions.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What are the values of your organization?
  • What behaviors does your company value and reward?
  • What type of person is promoted?

Understand what sets your company and its leaders apart. This is the first step toward discovering how to position yourself for a top leadership role.

Tip:
Two universal competencies for top management are effective leadership and effective communication. Each of these is complex.

  • Read everything you can about leadership styles, skills, and attributes.
  • Communication skills will help you, regardless of the level you want to reach in your career.

Set Objectives to Align Your Competencies with Top Management

Once you know your target, set goals to get there. You’re responsible for determining your own career direction. Be proactive and go after what you want, because it probably won’t be handed to you.

Do the following:

  • Let your boss know that you want to work toward a higher-level position.
  • Ask your boss what skill areas you need to develop.
  • Work together with your boss to set goals and objectives, then monitor and measure your performance.

Remember to concentrate on areas of performance that you can improve. Don’t set a goal to achieve a certain position by a certain time: This can be discouraging if it doesn’t happen. For example, set a goal to consistently demonstrate assertive and clear communication. If you achieve that goal, no matter what job title you have, you’ve succeeded!

Build Your Network

You should also build relationships with other people in your organization. You never know who may be in a position to help you or provide you with valuable information.

It’s important to network in all areas and levels of your company. Many people tend to think it’s best to make friends at the top. However, to be effective and actually make it to the top, you’ll need the support of colleagues at other levels as well.

Try these tips:

  • Reach out to new people on a regular basis.
  • Get involved with cross-functional teams.
  • Expand your professional network outside of your organization. If you can’t break the glass ceiling in your company, you may have to look elsewhere for opportunities.

Use the climate in your organization to your advantage. While “politicking” is often seen as negative, you can help your career by understanding and using the political networks in your company.

Find a Mentor

Having a mentor is a powerful way to break through the glass ceiling. The barriers that you face have likely been there for a long time. Past practices, biases and stereotypes, and old ideas are often long established at the top of many organizations.

Is upper management reluctant to work with certain types of individuals? Do they exclude certain people from important communications? A mentor can help you learn how to get connected to the information and people who can help you. A mentor can also be a great source of ideas for your professional development and growth.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Is there someone in upper management you can approach to help you?
  • Will your boss be able to provide mentoring support?
  • Are there people with strong political power who can offer you assistance?

Build Your Reputation

Ultimately, the way to get ahead is to get noticed. You want people to see your leadership abilities, communication skills, technical knowledge, and any other competencies that are typical of people at the top.

Develop your skills and network with people so that your name becomes associated with top management potential. To do this, you need to build a reputation as the kind of person who fits the description of top management. Visibility is very important. Remember, while you can see up, those at the top can see down. Make sure that what they see is you!

Follow these guidelines:

  • Seek high-profile projects.
  • Speak up and contribute in meetings.
  • Share ideas with peers as well as people in higher positions.

Identify places where your reputation is not what you want it to be, and develop plans to change them.

Know Your Rights

Finally, watch for discriminatory behavior. Sometimes biases and stereotyping can cross the line into discrimination. It’s unfortunate for both you and your organization when situations like this occur.

Don’t just accept frustration and failure. Know that you’re doing everything right, and arm yourself with a good understanding of your rights regarding official company policies and local laws.

Key Points

To get ahead and reach the leadership level you want, you need to champion and market yourself. That means proactively managing every step of your career. If you can’t seem to break through a glass ceiling, you might have to work harder than others.

We can’t all be exactly the type of upper management person our company wants. What we can do is develop the skills that the company values. Arm yourself with a development plan as well as the help of your boss, a strong network, and, hopefully, a mentor. You can then build and showcase the skills that will help you climb the corporate ladder. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone, and you may find new zones of opportunity.

Apply This to Your Life

If you’re frustrated with your career advancement, consider the following:

  • Do you have a career plan in place? If you don’t, now is the time to make one!
  • Does your boss, or anyone in your organization, know what your goals are? Unless people know what you want, they may keep you in the same position and assume you’re happy there.
  • Do you feel alone and unsupported in your career goals? If so, who can help you change that? We all need to make our own success, but most people don’t succeed all on their own. Ask for support and assistance – this is a sign of strength, not weakness.
  • What areas for skill development have been pointed out to you in the past? Are you making improvements?
  • Are you facing a glass ceiling? Recognizing that the ceiling exists is the first step… the ceiling won’t be removed unless you do something about it. Apply some of the ideas in this article, and monitor your progress.

The article is supported in the Career Excellence Club by Club Facilitator, Dianna Podmoroff. Dianna is keen to hear from readers who’re facing this issue, and those who have successfully overcome it.

Courtesy: http://www.mindtools.com/PressRoom/OverviewCXC.htm

Carl Jung has said that wisdom is the ability to state the obvious. I would say that wisdom is the ability to see the obvious in ourselves and in our own lives. We should not underestimate the power of self-awareness. If we can master seeing our automatic emotional reactions, we can effortlessly empower our lives by changing them.

It is easy to see emotional patterns in others, but when it comes to ourselves, we can be amazingly blind. A situation arises and our automatic reactions kick in. It’s easy to get stuck in the same patterns because we cannot see ourselves. A mirror works because it displays a separate image. Without a separate image to look at, we cannot see ourselves.

The good news is that our brain is not designed to stay in blind emotional reaction for an extended time. The initial emotional wave overtakes us and lingers until it must ultimately subside. After the initial wave passes, we can begin to analyze the trigger and our personal reaction to it. When we are able to analyze our selves, logic will help us focus on a better course of action. Now that you’re more emotionally detached, watch the situation unfold in your mind, as if it were remade as a comedy. You’re watching the Comedic Remake based on true events. This takes you out of the situation, and removes the serious tone. As you watch this new comedy, focus on your character. How do you add a comedic twist to what upset you? Your lighthearted side wrote your character, so it’s not too much of a stretch to identify with yourself. When you see yourself as your character, you empower that aspect of who you are. Now, when the same type of situation arises in the future, you can think of your sitcom-self, and identify with your more lighthearted reactions. This technique will help separate your emotion from whatever upset you, and will help you see that different reactions produce different outcomes. Use your imagination and have fun with this. It is an easy way to release automatic patterns that might be holding you back. You must decide what your self-defeating patterns are, then use your imagination to change them into empowering patterns. The first step is to lighten up, as described above.

With kind permission of Dr. Moiz Hussain
Join TIMS at http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=40287062194

For some reason, most people find it easier to think in a negative way than in a positive manner. It seems that some effort is needed to think positive thoughts, whereas negative thoughts come easily and uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in.

In order to understand how positive thinking works, and how to use it efficiently, it is important to understand the power of negative thinking.

If you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where people value success and self-improvement, then it will be easier for you to think positively and expect success. If you have been brought up under poor or difficult situations, you will probably go on expecting difficulties and failure.

From an early age people let outside influences shape their minds. They view everything through their predominant mental attitude. If their thoughts are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, their lives and circumstances will probably mirror these thoughts.

If you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves you.

Do you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters? Do you keep thinking about the negative news you have seen on the TV or read in the newspapers?

Do you see yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health? Do you frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or that it is too difficult to get them? If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities. You let the power of negative thinking rule your life.

The mind does not usually judge or examine thoughts and opinions before accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it accepts this as the standard way of thinking and behavior.

The media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about disasters, catastrophes, wars and other negative happenings. This information sinks into the subconscious mind, and let the power of negative thinking grow. By occupying the mind with negative thoughts and expectations one radiate negative energy into the surrounding world, thus creating and recreating more negativity, failures and disasters.

The mind can be directed towards positive thinking or negative thinking. The power of thoughts is a neutral power. The way one thinks determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways.

Persistent inner work can change habits of thoughts. You must be willing to put energy and time to avoid negative thinking and pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.

Each time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, change it into a positive one.

If you catch yourself visualizing failure, switch to visualizing success.

If you hear yourself repeating negative words, switch to positive ones.

If you hear yourself saying, “I cannot”, say to yourself, “I can”.

Do you repeat useless and unnecessary negative words and phrases in your mind? Change them to positive ones.

Open your mind to positive attitude, happenings and events. Expect them and think about them, and soon you life will change for the better. Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative thinking behind, and starting on the way towards positive thinking and behavior. It is never too late. Soon your life will turn into a fascinating, wonderful journey.